The Past That Haunts Me
by ProjectFreelancer
Summary: When she believes she loses everything, Lydia Stirling, best friend to Colette Shepard (My Femshep), it's up to her secret love, the lovely Miss Miranda Lawson, to prove that not all was lost in the war against the Reapers. OC/Miranda Lawson
1. Chapter 1

The Past That Haunts Me

Author's Note: Yes this is my first ME fic and yes I'm using an OC and for those who've read my _Alice I Can See Your Halo_, I promise to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, I just needed to get this idea out there before I forgot it and lose interest.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Miranda would have remained as a bisexual instead of changing her to strictly straight at the last minute and all the other female characters would be romance options for FemShep.

Warnings: There will be some femslash later on if you guys decide you like it and want more.

A/N: On with the story! Also, it will be in 1st person of my OC.

A dank smoky mist corrupts the atmosphere of this place. This place. A place I know all too well. I stare into the deep depths of the glass, filled to the brim with ice. The strong scent of the whiskey wafts up to me. I see my own reflection. Ice blue eyes stare emptily back, fully devoid of emotion.

Other patrons just murmur to themselves while others sway and whisper the lyrics to a song I've never heard of before as it plays. I take a long drink and think about all of the things I've done and the people I've met. Each memory jabs my heart, leaving a throbbing pain. I chug what's left of the whiskey and order another on the rocks, this time telling them to leave the bottle.

So many I've met, so many that died, but only one held my heart as strongly as another. I never did confess to her and now, the dull throb turns into a painful sting. I down this glass and pick up the bottle and start drinking from that. Most people would be drunk by now, but I am not most people.

Instead of mind numbing intoxication, I'm in a fuzzy haze that still leaves me sober enough to hear the memories taunting me. The bottle clanks emptily on the bar counter and I order another bottle. The bartender looks at me strangely but complies regardless of what she might be thinking.

I down about half of it after she turned away. Why her of all people? Why did I have to lose her? I cherished her. I tried to protect her. I _loved_ her. Now, with the war over, she disappeared. Like all the others, she vanished. I drain the other half of the bottle. When will this all end?

"Lydia," a voice questions. I know that voice.

"Lydia, look at me," the voice calls again. That accent. That voice.

I feel soft, gentle hands tilt my head I the direction the voice came from. I feel it, her lips pressed so gently on mine. She pulls away shortly after and I finally recover enough to look at the girl who kissed me.

"Miranda," I question in disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

The Past that Haunts Me

Author's Note: Well here it is, Chapter 2. I've been writing these in school, in my planner and this one has been sitting in there awhile but I've been quite the procrastinator lately. But, anyway, here it is and I hope you enjoy. I know these have been short but I promise to make them longer.

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Mass Effect but Bioware, hats off to you guys for this amazing game.

A/N: This chapter is very dialogue heavy.

Chapter 2

"Miranda," I question in disbelief.

"Yes. It's really me," she replies with a smile but it quickly goes away as she sees the empty glasses and bottle.

"What's happened to you? I never see you go into a drunken stupor," Miranda says worriedly.

"I thought I lost you forever. I just needed to numb the pain," I reply sadly.

"I never really was gone. I was looking for you. I wanted to tell you that I love you," Miranda says barely above a whisper.

I stare at her wide eyed. I lean in this time and kiss her deeply and passionately, putting all the love I have for her into it. I pull away shortly after but something doesn't feel right. It could be the alcohol but I'm not entirely sure. She has the same silky black hair that cascades just past her shoulders. The same deep blue oceanic eyes that can see passed my defenses. The same perfect curves accentuated by perfect breasts and perfect ass. The same skin tight black and white Cerberus uniform. But nothing seems real to me anymore. Nothing seems to be a reality. After all, how did she survive the Reaper invasion? So many died. How do I know this is the same Miranda Lawson?

She stares at me, hurt and confusion crossing those wonderful eyes. She can see the indecision. She can see all of the pain I buried, both physical and emotional. She can see that I don't believe it's a reality. She starts to unzip her suit, just enough to be able to expose her neck a bit further. I try to turn away as I feel the heat rise to my cheeks as well as my more southern region. I feel like I'm back in high school.

"You see this mark, right here? This mark on the nape of my neck? You gave this to me a month ago. You said you'd never let me forget and haven't. It's faded some since you did it but it's still there. Reminding me of what I was doing those grueling 4 weeks trying to find you. If that doesn't prove who I am to you, then I don't know what the hell else will," Miranda says as she zips back up her suit.

I sigh inwardly, admitting my defeat. I remember that night well. It's one of my strongest memories. It was the last time I saw her, hell the last time I touched her. The last time before everything went out of the frying pan and into the shit in a heartbeat.

_*******Flashback********_

_ "Ouch! Hey! Easy with the teeth there, tiger. Wouldn't want to maul me now would you," Miranda says coyly._

_ I smile at her deviously then say,_

_ "Oh I want to _maul _ you Miranda. Just not up here." I toss her a seductive wink._

_ She blushes ever so slightly and I laugh while slowly kissing my way down to her neck again._

_ "Please…be gentle," she breathes as I let my lips just ghost over her soft, delicate flesh._

_ "I'm always gentle. Except for when I like to play a little rough," I reply then resume my previous act._

_ "I'm not some chew toy you know," she hollers frustratedly._

_ "No, but you sure do taste good. That, and I want everyone to know that you, Miss Lawson are no longer on the market," I reply calmly._

_ "Oh am I now? Who says," she replies with a wide smile._

_ She knows all too well that I'll take the bait so I decide to surprise her._

_ I kiss her deeply and start to gently massage her breast. She gasps into the kiss and I take it as an opportunity to slip my tongue inside. She moans deeply and I smile into the kiss. I stop my ministrations and bite a little harder on the nape of her neck. She cries out in surprise and I pull away to look at her._

_ "Says the woman who just marked you as _hers_," I reply slyly._

_ "You ass," She replies breathing heavily._

_ "What about my ass," I chuckle._

_ She uses her biotics to throw a pillow at me but due to my enhanced reflexes I dodge it easily and catch her hand._

_ "I will _always _love you, Miss Lawson," I say then kiss her cheek._

_******End Flashback*******_

I smile as I remember the memory. Miranda smiles too, knowing full well where my thoughts had gone.

"Come with me, Lydia. I've got a small apartment not far from here. We've got a lot to talk about," Miranda says and takes my hand as she leads me out of the little bar.


End file.
